1. Newton has many fantastical attributes:
1. Newton is the thrice-great sophist, our Hermes Trismegistus of sophistry. Newton employs a technique of sophistry he invented himself called "in-your-face sophistry". Newton does not need to hide from you that he is deceiving you with his sophistry. This is how great a sophist he is. [Examples to come]
2. Newton is the great appropriator. Newton never encountered a concept he could not steal by renaming it. He stole from Descartes by renaming Descartes' first law of motion as Newton's first law of motion. What a genius this Newton was! He stole Kepler's Third Law and rearranged its terms and called it Newton's Laws.
3. Newton is the great euphemist and grandmaster of circumlocution.
4. Newton is an occultist and supernaturalist.
5. A genius of marketing
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